Is it bad for me to wonder if I was raised in some sort of cult?

2021.12.07 18:28 Weatheronthe8s Is it bad for me to wonder if I was raised in some sort of cult?

So I was raised in a quite conservative evangelical style Baptist church. My grandparents have been going to this church for decades and began taking me with them when I was quite young. I went kinda off and on for a bit and then I formally accepted Christ when I was 10 during VBS. From that point, I began going to church more often and started attending the church Awana programs and such. Around 2013, I was being picked on in my public elementary school by someone and ended up going to a private Christian school for middle school. I loved it at first. They almost immediately began teaching us the ideas of young earth creationism. They even took us on a field trip to the local movie theater to see God's Not Dead when it came out, which is a movie that did preach those ideas also and also took us to the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter a few years later. We were also preached to about masturbation being awful and anything sexual must be with your married partner of the opposite sex. They also showed transphobia a lot, which sadly was much of the cause for me to not accept myself for so long.
Those are what I have always believed to be pretty "normal" in churches. However, the way which I have seemed to be shown that basically my entire self expression in gender being trans and sexuality being lesbian being works of the devil just make me feel like some terrible person. It's like it was presented to me as a thing of acceptance and forgiveness, but I have never felt this in the environment. It almost feels like an environment where despite believing in "once saved always saved" believes that even if I am still a Christian, because I don't share the exact same ideas anymore, I am going to hell and never believed. That is how I have always perceived it. This idea is making me question what guarantees salvation in the first place.
All of this brings way too many questions to my mind and makes me wonder if the environment I grew up in could share a lot of similarities with cults. I really hate thinking this because it brings so many other things into question as well, but I can't help but wonder. Is it stupid for me to wonder if I was raised in a cult, or could there actually be some merit to this wondering?
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